Monday, December 13, 2010

半夜12点

14/12/2010 半夜12正

是SPM考试的最后一天。
本该是很开心的,
不过现在却觉得很悲伤、很寂寞。。

上个星期三,刚考完商业的那一晚
我和家人像往常一样享用晚餐。
刚好提到姐姐和马六甲的公公谈话的对白时
“阿公,我刚刚买了一辆新车。MyVi, 白色的。 叫小白。用自己的薪水买的。下次驾下来给你看啊”
就在那时,我收到堂姐来的简讯
“ah gong passed”
我整个人顿时呆了。后来爸爸接到大伯来的电话,证明阿公在当晚往生了。

赶回去马六甲时,已经是大概12点多了
详细情形实在说不下去,不过那感觉真的很不好受。
我在那里守了整4天夜,说是喜欢跟好久不见的堂表兄弟姐妹一起团聚,但其实是很想多陪着阿公。
我不是不去看他,而是每当看到阿公躺在棺木里时觉得很心痛。
当报纸刊登阿公往生的公告时,看见阿嬤对着报纸哭得很伤心令我也感到心酸。

星期日,大学园从pj前来助念。
当时我很开心,因为之前原本因道教仪式的关系打算取消。
真的非常感谢他们的那么劳累却坚持的到来。
他们前来的时候,我赶快去告诉阿公,说他们是我常去的佛堂来的人。
最后我一个人也因spm而跟着他们一起回去了。
想着“对不起,阿公,我没办法送您出殡。请原来我”

回到家后,生活如常
只是多了洗衣、晒衣、抹地一还有自己一个人。
考绘画时也觉得用15分钟准备的作品感到满意。

不过晚上时,觉得很孤独。。
从没有过这种感觉
温习华文时读到一篇关于曾祖母的文章,突然让我想起阿公。
我在阿公临终后的这时终于流下了第一滴眼泪。

半夜12点,开启电脑,找不到人陪我聊天。
只好在部落格里写这篇post
来说出我心里的寂寞与孤独。:'(

Sunday, November 28, 2010

During SPM...

Currently this is the second week of SPM and I'm am having Mathematics 2moro and I'm still sitting in front of my laptop.. xO
It's ok coz I'm ready go launch it. (Inner heart: Lanc!! You are still bad in few topics!)..
Jk jk! Just wanna share my SPM feelings on my blog la..

On the week before the exam, the feelings were like.. *OMG! EXAM!! BM! SEJARAH! INSOMNIA!*
But, I'm still not very focus on studies..
I took 2 weeks to only highlight the Sejarah points and only study BM few days before exam..
Of coz, I'm not fully prepared and started to worry on everything.. >.<"
But still, my brother encouraged me to keep on, since its already the last exam in your secondary school.. @@
Thx Bro..

On the night before SPM, which was the BM paper, I have insomnia again.. ==
I don't remember what time I fell asleep but I'm sure is after 2am..
On the next day, when I saw the first paper, ok..
But when i saw the 2nd paper, i smiled :) .
Coz I can't believe the tatabahasa part was SO FREAKING OMG SIMPLE!!
After all work of it, what came out? Kata tanya.. ==""
And then, I had a good night sleep for 2moro..

Wednesday was BI, ok la~ Can do la~ xD
Sejarah on thursday.. WTF I studied all the topics according the ramalan and it just came out 1/4?!?!
When I logged in Facebook, there was a status from my friend "LOL SURPRISINGLY THOSE TIPS BLOG ARE SO QUIET TODAY"
Why? becoz those tips were failed in sejarah! xD

Yesterday, I heard a rumour which talked about we gonna re-sit for the BM paper due to a school teacher gave the wrong set of exam papers to the candidates.
Luckily, it was fake! :D But the wrong set of paper was real, pity to them..

Ok, I'm going to study now..
Thanks to my brother for gave me a good encouragement and also my mother for made me the BEST breakfast and lunch on the first day of SPM! ^^

Saturday, July 31, 2010

Librarian Hi-Tea 2010 + Soo Ling's Birthday

LOL! Lazy to type..
Go check my facebook :D

Happy Belated Birthday to Soo Ling!!!

Friday, July 30, 2010

Form 5 Librarians Retirement

Today all the form5 librarians were having their AGM + Retirement Ceremony..
Well supposedly it should be sad in a way but very happy too!

Yesterday I was nervous for the retirement speech
coz I 'm haven't even prepared anything yet..
When I turn on FB,
everybody were so excited and nervous..
Due to that, I only viewed my page once yesterday (Broke record! :D)

Until today, I was so not concentrating on my studies :D
Just being excited hows AGM going later
Also thinking about how to decorate my aquarium
coz Zae Yee gave me one today!
She forced me to decorate my tonight
and she'll come to visit my guppies 2moro before going to Hi-tea

Wait, come back to the topic.
Aww the AGM was so awesome
I think the Saddest speech was Ching Yie's one..
She did made many people cried :'(
And I think the most stupid one was mine xD
which talking about my shirt..
And I like the new ketua and the movie section also.. ^^

Anyways, I have finally broke out from the 3 years Nilam life
WooHoo!! Good Bye Nilam but I miss my magazine rack.. xD
Alright I'm going to think about how to decorate my aquarium..
Bye~ :) Hi-Tea tomorrow! :D

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Just a comment for that problem..

Oh, am i updating my blog?
Yes I am.
Btw, I know my blog is dying,
but actually i still signing in.. xD
Coz I just need some mood to update it,
and now here is it :D

Well, around the year 2010
I saw and felt many things like
friendship, relationship, leadership++

People nowadays who are same age with me,
including me.
I dunno whether we are too stress for spm
or becoming paranoia or something..
We are just getting sensitive and hot tempered
Don't think I'm still a "good" boy,
sometimes I will get angry easily too..

I think people are changing in the age of 17 (I think..)
We are always worrying about many things or looking for something to worry..
And then keep guessing and suspecting each other what are they thinking, doing,
or even chatting with others..
At last, we misunderstood each other and fight with each other,
isolate you, ban them..
do you think its fun?

I mean,
we were friends since so long,
and you are keep fighting, hurting..
"Because of him, I'm not coming to school"
"Because I duwan to talk to her, I want to change my tuition"

Well, do you know
everything we are doing does not affect anything to them at all..
we are just making lost for ourselves,
like we skip school and change tuition,
the only advantages we will get is we can make them sad and hurtful.
But due to that,
1. you may lost your important lessons in school and tuition,
2.you will make a bad record about your attendance,
3. it will affect your exam results
Do you think its worth it?

My pals,
this is our last year in secondary school,
why don't we fight earlier but now?
Spm is coming soon,
and do you think we still have more time to play?
After form 5, I dun think we will meet each other more them 5 times in a year.
Or even not keep in communication in a year,
2 years,
3 years?
Also, I bet everyone will be difficult to find a friend like now..

These problems are just to let people think we are so childish and nothing else..
I really hope everyone can back to normal and able to make gathering oftenly after graduated..
Thanks.